she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize