Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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