party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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