I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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