Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize