like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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