i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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