May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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