What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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