Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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