There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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