This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize