My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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