I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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