Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class

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(303): View more from Colorado

Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

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(952): View more from Minnesota

You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.

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(760): View more from California

So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.

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(406): View more from Montana

If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze

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