Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize