So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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