I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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