What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize