sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize