in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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