If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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