how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We need to rekindle our bromance
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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