chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Someone came in the potted fern
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
