Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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