That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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