If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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