If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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