I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize