my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize