So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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