Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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