fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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