My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize