Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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