Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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