like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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