No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I love you.
Bad choice
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
