i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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