a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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