i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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