and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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