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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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