erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize