i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize