I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize