You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize