Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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