I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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