At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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