never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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